wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
