is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
