i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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