you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
