Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
accomplished twins. life is a go
my shit smells like andre
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize