i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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