omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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