I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
