"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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