i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
