I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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