no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
