Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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