u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
