Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
