the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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