how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
So many bounce houses so little time
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
