New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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