what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
