She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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