my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
