I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
