Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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