I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize