im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
