My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
