what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
