i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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