shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
