Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
