Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
