whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Randomize
