Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize