dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
