think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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