I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
