??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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