She announced her abortion via fbk
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize