apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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