i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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