Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Randomize
