half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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