He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
