He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
