She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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