honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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