I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
