and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize