Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
if i died would you start the facebook group?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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