I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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