wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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