Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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