Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
