he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
