she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
