Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
