Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
