honey bunches of taint.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
