Are we in a gay sports bar?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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