Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Randomize
