so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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