On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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