I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
