it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
