Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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