He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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