try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Randomize
