You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Where is the hickey?
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
