I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
we should paint friendship bongs
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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