O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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