it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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