What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
