Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
