I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
