That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I queefed so loud it echoed.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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