Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Ketchup is God's man juice
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Randomize
