dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Randomize