you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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