you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
