Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
