Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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